What She Needs to Learn

The Virgo Woman needs to learn that there is more to sex than intercourse. She must break through her limitations, first in her brain, then with her body.

The most basic limitation she imposes on sexual loving is that she tends to equate it with genital sex. But she, like all of us, has a choice about her form of expressing love and of sex. The ecstasy of being in love stems from a feeling of loving life, of being in love with flowers, with the blue sky, with people, and with being silly. Virgo's love need not be limited to her mate or to her family, and sex need not be limited to genital intercourse. When she liberates her idea of sex, she will be liberating herself.

Here are some sensuous hints for the Virgo Woman who finds starting sex difficult:

• The next time he sweats, wipe his brow. If this leads to cuddling and then to loveplay, don't be surprised.

• Pay him a compliment, caress his neck (more than once, of course).

• Buy him a new after-shave or eau de cologne. If you love it, all the better.

• Propose a midnight walk under the stars.

• Talk to him about some of your erotic fantasies. Perhaps you can play a few out.

• Have different kinds of massage oils and bath oils available. Suggest a relaxing bath followed by a massage.

• Act silly sometimes; for example, play doctor or wear your favorite "dress-up."

• Read to him from one of your favorite books. Kahlil Gibran's Prophet is a romantic, love-filled book that also has erotic overtones.

• Visit friends who collect and share erotic films.

• Jump in a sauna or hot tub together.

• Put dimmers on your light switches; you can then signal a romantic mood wordlessly.

• Fingerpaint each other.

• Listen to your favorite records together.

• Pick each other up in a singles bar.

• Wash and brush his hair. You can cut it, too, if he'll let you.

• Record your lovemaking. If you hear silence, it's time to change your style. Nothing turns on your partner—and perhaps you—more than to hear you open up and vocalize pleasure.

Have sex for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

Virgo, you must treat your whole body as a sex organ. Your attitude is crucial: an attitude of awareness and curiosity is best. Sexuality involves your whole being. The average person in our culture lives out of touch with her or his body and sexuality. This need not happen to you. Do not live in your brain, or more precisely, in the part of your brain that worries and calculates. Do not expect to play roles and give a performance when you make love. Do expect to let go, to experience sex as a miraculous healing force, a unique bridge to the most sensuous and vital part of yourself— and of your partner.

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