What Kind of Lover She Needs

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A man who is beside himself with passion, whispers obscene words in her ears, lets go with grunts and heavy breathing, and provides lots of stimulation in the pelvic region is the Scorpio Woman's idea of sexual heaven. It helps if he has vast reservoirs of physical strength.

She usually likes oral sex, and a few have told me of having orgasms while performing fellatio. Others have said that words alone can be so arousing as to put them on the verge of orgasm. The Scorpio Woman usually likes hard thrusts and cervical stimulation by the penis. She may become an aficionado of anal sex.

She wants a man who has a high sex drive and has learned total control of his own responses. A multiorgasmic male is a sure winner. Her fantasy male is a combination of James Bond, Clint Eastwood, and Brad Pitt. A bit of sadism, a lot of visual appeal, hair, and macho, a dash of sensitivity, and total sexual expertise will surely capture her.

She dislikes a man who is reluctant in oral sex and uneasy about her ambitious sex strategy. If he is physically impotent, she may be patient with him because she wants to give herself total pleasure—via him. If he is psychologically impotent, she will drop him. She seldom tolerates a weakling, a man who crumples under pressure.

The Scorpio Woman enjoys sex in exotic places, at least in her fantasies. The back of a hearse, the seat on a night flight to Istanbul, the toilet of a 747, a public beach with a conveniently placed sand dune, a phone booth—all are great locations for her sexual fantasies. She may well turn these fantasies into reality.

She likes strongly scented lubricants, kinky sex aids, home porno films, pleasuring condoms. She often gets turned on by hard-core sex catalogues, erotic sculptures, sexy records. I suspect that a Scorpio is responsible for that ingenious invention, the flexible shower hose with power nozzle. How else could a woman masturbate to her heart's content in the bathtub?

The Scorpio Woman is interested in exploring sexual taboos. Her body image is usually fair to good unless she is in one of her slumps. In this phase, nothing can convince her she is attractive, but just as surely she'll make a comeback. If she is preorgasmic, the earth will truly move and comets cross the sky when she releases her blocks and finally explodes with orgasm. (There are now groups around the country to help preorgasmic women. There is also an excellent manual called For Yourself, by Lonnie Barbach.)

Scorpio's inner sexual conflicts center around her emotional sadomasochism. The Scorpio Woman is naturally a slave driver. She compels men to serve her. She uses everything from her hypnotic eyes to her beckoning thighs to make a man submit. She satisfies more of his desires than he ever knew he had, though she may also drive him crazy with her demands, jealousy, and crises.

She wants to find a man who is her equal in all domains, and she tests him endlessly.

The testing is done mostly through attempts to dominate him sexually. She will try to break her partner in, and in some cases to break him down. She goes for broke.

The Scorpio Woman has an inborn dominatrix side. She is interested in some of the basic S&M practices, either in fantasy or in reality, often taking the role of the mistress. Some basic S&M fetishes and fantasies concern legs, feet, nylons, and clothing made of fur, leather, and rubber. Some of the men she fantasizes about or actually dominates may wear lipstick, long fingernails, and long hair. Others want to be walked on with spike-heeled shoes or boots. But bondage is most common. Her bondage scenes or fantasies range from tying a man to a bedpost with nylons while she takes over and runs the scene to tying and stretching him on a medieval X-shaped contraption to simple spanking. In reality, the limits would be set by the man, for such scenes are controlled by the masochist.

The Scorpio Woman, even if she is an inexperienced housewife, is capable of dreaming up elaborate sexual scenarios in which she has the star's control. She is also likely to fantasize about the feel of rubber or leather on her as she controls a man who is acting out her fantasy. She is nothing if not a totally sexual creature, with the balls to carry out anything any man dares her to do—if, of course, it also pleases her.

But, in spite of her brash roughness, she has her masochistic side too. She is no stranger to unfulfilled longing and pain, and this affects her sex life. Typically, her earlier suffering has programmed her to incorporate the subconscious expectation to suffer. She may act this out by letting herself be spanked, tied, or forced to submit to her mate's wishes; or she may desire to have sex that leaves her bruised and limp with exhaustion.

Masochistic fantasies or acts may also have their root in guilt. No Western woman as dominating as she is escapes the guilt that arises from her own power.

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