A man who is willing to go slow, to pamper her with words of endearment and devotion, is bound to get to first base with the Cancer Woman. She needs and wants an exclusive relationship, and the man who is right for her will want it too.
She needs a man who is able to provide a great deal of overall security, emotional as well as material. The man who can't fulfill this need—who never knows what time he will be home, does not wish to leave his telephone number when he travels, is never jealous or possessive, and could care less what she does when he's away for the weekend—is wrong for her. She may pay lip service to the idea of disliking possessive men, but she prefers a man who constantly looks after her to make sure she is happy, taken care of, and wooed by him alone.
She usually likes a man who is a steady, reliable lover but is also capable of flights of imagination and willing to share them. If he is smart, he will make sure she is always the star in these fantasies, for playing second fiddle to other women is not Cancer's cup of tea. Though she may play around from time to time, she won't want to know if her man does, even in fantasy.
Her man should be a gende lover who, at the same time, is uninhibited enough to help her throw off her own restraints. The man who is catalyst for her sexual liberation is apt to hold her for a lifetime. An intuitive man, one who can feel her moods and flow with them without demanding verbal explanations, is good for her.
She tends to like oral and perhaps anal sex. Her lover should be open to these alternatives, as well as the safety supports they may require. She needs a man who has a high sex drive but has learned good control. She is a slow builder, and a premature ejaculator would be totally frustrating to her. On the other hand, she may be extremely patient and good for a man who experiences periodic impotence, as long as he is open to alternative methods of mutual pleasuring. She can be a selfish lover bent on her own satisfaction, but her selfishness can also take pressure off the man who is secure in his own sexuality. If she is willing and able to take care of herself, he will be free of the typical male worry about giving orgasms.
The Cancer Woman usually likes some hard thrusting after the initial rounds of fondling and pleasuring. She likes a lot of stimulation on her breasts and buttocks. She is content with a man who has mastered this combination and probably won't miss fancy techniques, taiwan baskets, or vaginal vibrators. A further hint: sex in the shower may be one of her very favorites. Sex and water combined, whether on the beach or in the bath, sauna, or pool, is one of Cancer's greatest sexual/sensual pleasures.
The Cancer Woman prefers a man who plans ahead. If he is smart, he will arrange for music, chilled champagne, silk robes, and a beautiful bath equipped with a variety of scented soaps and oils. If they are married, he must be sure that her level of sensuality doesn't fall off, or he may find his Cancer wife retreating. Here, experimentation, private weekends in sensuous resorts, and other special efforts will become important.
She needs a man who brings out both the little girl and the passionate tigress in her. Her man should never typecast her or force her into a mold. One of the great sexual pitfalls in the life of the Cancer Woman is precisely her potential to adhere to predigested roles. She tends to lose her sexual vitality as she grows into the roles of wife and mother. Thus, she needs a man who will help her keep the spark alive, even allow her to expand sexually as she approaches her (and every woman's) sexual prime in her forties. Masturbation may be an aid; several Cancer Women have told me they like it to supplement, not substitute for, intercourse. Mutual masturbation is a good form of intercourse for Cancer.
The Cancer Woman may be a subtle dominator. Though she may claim to dislike S&M, she often plays the mistress role in her fantasies. Her man should be imaginative, self-confident, and aware of her fantasies, specifically in this area. Once Cancer finds an accepting partner, she may graduate to a whole new level of sexuality; meeting her own sexual aggression head-on, probably for the first time, she will elevate her relationship to new sexual heights.
The feel of satin, rubber, leather, suede, fine Swiss cotton, velvet, or any combination of the new "touchy-feely" fabrics will probably drive her wild. She may dream of a $95,000 chinchilla bedspread she saw featured in Vogue, but making love on a sensuous substitute will do. Skin stimulants are essential to turn her on; caressing her body with one's hair will arouse her, as will feathers, brushes, and silk pajamas. A partner who combs and brushes her hair, gives her a long massage, then takes her out to eat, is creating the right ambience for surrender.
Strongly perfumed creams and lubricants, flowery fragrances, massage oils with a fruit or flower odor, and musk are Cancer favorites. She tends to prefer strong scents or heavily laced perfumes, though she likes light alcoholic drinks that are pretty and ladylike. The color of the decor should also be right, for she is sensitive to all the vibrations that surround her.
Finally, the man Cancer needs will have to face the possibility that she will keep things from him. The Cancer Woman is complex and therefore not easy to satisfy. He must insist on keeping the communication between them open, for she probably will not. He must be intuitive himself and may have to learn the clues of retreat that she telegraphs from time to time. He must learn to differentiate between withdrawal in order to have privacy and withdrawal precipitated by anger or misery. It is likely that, given an initially successful period, their sexual relationship will be a strong bond and will carry them over many bumps. The Cancer Woman who accepts sex and likes it will keep it as a permanent, rich, always available oasis for herself and her partner.
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