Because the Taurus nature is so definite and deeply rooted, nearly all the traits delineated at the beginning of this chapter carry over into any relationship she endeavors to develop. Once she has made a commitment, she will put forth her best effort to make any of her many relationships work. She forms a wonderful half of any duo—mate, best friend, co-worker, commiserater. She needs these one-on-one encounters to fulfill her curious yet complex nature. At the same time, she is a perfectionist and expects her family, friends, and lovers to live up to exacting standards. She can become very critical very quickly when intimates do not meet her criteria.
Like her opposite, Scorpio, she may arrive at a position of power, not so much because she seeks it, but more often because she has proven she can handle it, distribute it, and enhance it.
Though often not intentionally, the Taurus Woman may use sex and intimacy to gain wealth, which she in turn translates into security, luxury, and beauty. She is attracted to people of wealth and learns appreciation for the things it can provide. Her natural good taste make her excellent company for those who are accustomed to the finer things in life. Although the law of polarity may cause her to marry beneath her station and thus suffer from a lack of material wealth, she can still function with those who have it.
Her approach to permanent relationships is healthy. She is loyal, steadfast, and oriented to the home. She enjoys comfort and likes sharing life's fineries with her friends and loved ones. She remains a faithful wife or friend until she is betrayed. Her temper boils when she discovers someone has deceived her, when her intelligence is insulted, or when she has proof that someone has taken advantage of her. She has one of the highest levels of tolerance in the Zodiac, but when her limit is reached, she reacts with lightning speed. It may take months or years for her to recover ... if she ever does. When it's love, it's all or nothing. She demands the same loyalty she offers. In friendship she can give as well as receive but is insistent upon a fifty-fifty ratio.
She allows nobody to force her into doing anything against her will. (She can, however, be led if the proverbial carrot is affection.) Unless her friends and intimates recognize this early on, they may unexpectedly be confronted with her strong will, either as she exerts it directly or as she uses it as adhesive to keep herself from being swayed off her dead-center course.
Although one of her greatest needs is for affection, she may often not be affectionate towards others. Her mate may be confused by long periods of silence in which she seems to be in a world of her own. She is probably resting her karma, much as the earth rests between cycles of productivity and growth.
The Taurus Woman tends to trust men more than she trusts women. She will also come to the aid of another Taurus before any of the other sign types. She loves older men and will often be seen with one at her side. They seem to inspire her trust more quickly and serve to mirror her own stability to the outside world. On the other hand, she fears growing old and thus places great importance on youth and youthfulness.
Because of her own youthful attitudes and freshness, many think of her as being younger than she really is.
As she becomes more evolved, the Taurus Woman drops some of the masks she has used to keep her fears hidden. She begins to show her sexual nature more and more. Where motherhood was once the only permanent route she could consider, she now wants to experiment with new freedoms that strong parenting (the only kind she understands) prohibits. She doesn't lose her love for children, and she still feels she must prepare them to assume the responsibility for her earth; but she begins to feel less bound to the duty of rearing her own.
She also begins to let it be known that she can manage money and function in the financial industry along with the best of them. She has an uncanny ability with real estate and banking. When she applies her strong will and naturally materialistic tendencies, she can direct the day-to-day operations of a profitable corporation as efficiently as any man.
For all her common sense about money and other practical concerns, she stubbornly refuses to give it proper respect in matters of the heart. She often seeks a relationship that provides excitement, thrills, mystery, and sensual sex. Perhaps she feels that her life is too methodical and boring, and she yearns for adventure. It is not uncommon for her to marry a man she has only just met.
She is possessive, habit-bound, and dogmatic in her love life. Her smothering love and failure to provide space, coupled with her rigid insistence on emotional superiority, can cause her relationships to become dull and boring. After the adventure wears off, she may regret her choice but will often stubbornly hang on. It is much too difficult for a Taurus Woman to admit she has made a mistake.
In love, the greatest challenge for the Taurus Woman is to overcome her posses-siveness. She is always tempted to play protective, jealous bitch. People cannot be private property; the beloved must have space to grow. She can only have by letting go.
The Taurus child is often content to spend many hours playing by herself. Her parents may worry that she is too solitary. Her rebellious nature only surfaces when she is pushed too much; otherwise she is well mannered and usually stays out of trouble. Having a self-imposed inner control, she will often resist discipline that she considers unreasonable. However, affection works wonders; she may have stubbornly resisted your demands, but a hug will set everything right.
Her early years are likely to present one of two extremes: the child who has to assume a great deal of responsibility and never has a chance for a "normal" childhood; or the pampered child who is given everything and has virtually no responsibility. Silver spoon or stainless steel, she has a beautiful disposition.
The Taurus girl usually relates well to her peers and those around her. She may be very shy and timid, but given time, she emerges a diplomatic though reserved adult. At the same time, she looks only for the unvarnished truth and can take people aback with the depth of her perceptions.
She has a good relationship with both parents but usually favors her father. She is the apple of his eye, and he will do a great deal for her. She tends to become very dependent upon her parents and looks to them in times of trouble instead of taking care of problems herself.
How the Taurus Woman Relates: Lovers and Other Intimates
The Taurus Woman is characteristically very giving in her relationships with intimates. This openness extends beyond her body into her mind and spirit. When she marries, she gives herself completely to her man. She is one of the more monogamous of the signs and seldom strays unless given good reason. Her initial impact is very exciting and magnetic. She has a sense of elan in the early stages of her relationship with a man.
If she does seek sexual partners outside marriage it is often because her one-dimensional mate cannot satisfy the myriad elements that comprise her total being. If she has married someone who is not her intellectual equal, she may seek that quality in a younger man. If the marriage fails to provide the financial security she must have, she will lose little time in rectifying that situation, too.
Her fears about security, both financial and emotional, can cause her to lose her joie de vivre and can cloud her otherwise brilliant insight. In turn, the excitement she injects into most of her romantic relationships may disappear. Many times she shies away from intimacy due to self-doubt. She is protective and nurturing by nature, and she also applies these qualities to herself. If she fears rejection or hurt, she can dredge up long-forgotten memories that reinforce her self-preservation mechanisms.
Taurus, you must learn to take risks in the course of developing or improving relationships. I have found the following "Risk List" to be an excellent tool:
1. Write about your biggest fear. List all the details. Expose yourself directly to fear.
2. Tell your closest friend something that has been bothering you in your relationship for a long time.
3. Do something fun that you've fantasized about but have been afraid to try (all the better if you do it with your lover/mate/husband).
4. Share with your lover the sexual fantasy you've been afraid to tell her/him. You may even want to venture so far as to admit to fantasizing it while having sex.
5. Get an empty chair, sit across from it, and pretend the person you are most jealous or envious of is sitting there. Tell the "person" why you feel as you do.
6. Take one step to acquire for yourself the quality you are jealous or envious of in this "person."
7. Choose one habit you are uncomfortable with and make a plan to eradicate it (try to pick a habit that affects you more strongly than it affects those around you).
8. Give a gift to a friend for no special reason, and don't expect anything in return. Again, so much the better if it's something you possess that the friend cherishes.
9. Sit down and talk with your boss about one thing you are uncomfortable about on the job. Don't get carried away. .. . One thing will reinforce you enough to set about achieving total comfort on the job.
10. Make a list of all the fantasies you can remember from your childhood. Go do one of them.
11. Throw away two things that you have had for years and will never use.
12. End your involvement with a project you've been working on for a long time, one you know will probably never be beneficial.
13. Apologize to someone you self-righteously argued with when you knew you were wrong.
14. Go out and meet one new person on your own; talk with her/him for at least a half-hour.
15. Ask a friend to role-play your mother, and tell her something you have wanted to tell her for years. It doesn't have to be something you dislike; you can tell her how much you appreciated that blue dress in 1988!
When the Taurus Woman learns to consciously take risks and observe the results, she will find that all kinds of changes occur. After a few weeks of experiencing the exhilaration of risking, she will find she can do it without fear. The only constant in life is change; she must make herself more flexible and accept the processes of change in her life.
Until Taurus rises above her possessive, controlling, and fearful tendencies, her relationships resemble the process of bartering for the best price on a bale of cotton. She holds back her true emotions, exchanges them for those of others, and risks losing them only on a sure thing. Little wonder her intimates often tire of her games.
Fear is one of the greatest inhibitors of growth, and the Taurus Woman must actively eliminate it if she is to flow with the life energies she knows so well. The only self-interest she should keep in her life is that which she uses for self-improvement. When the Taurus Woman lets beauty and harmony be her guide, she knows instinctively what is right.
The Taurus Woman has the internal stability, intelligence, and energy to live a productive life. What she often lacks is the fire and self-love necessary to bring these qualities to the surface.
She needs a man who will mirror her strength and emotional stability. Her idea of a real man includes tenderness, sensitivity, imagination, and concern about her future. Her man needs to possess common horse sense. She can be captivated by a witty, charming, and sensuous man as long as he bears her gifts.
Her stubborn nature largely dictates her relationships. When her man is attentive and even a bit adoring, she melts. He can then match her will and help her overcome her plodding deliberations. If he's a bit impulsive, he will lend balance to her sensual enjoyment of life.
Her man should use subde prodding to drag her away from her cherished home and possessions. She wants her partner to share in her love of the earth, and if he can get around her natural cautiousness, she may even lift her feet off the ground occasionally.
Advice to the Man in Her Life
1. Be prepared to fall in love quickly, totally, and permanently.
2. Coddle her, be gentle, be appreciative, but avoid patronizing her; she has a keen sense for deception.
3. Encourage her; challenge her; prod her, but subtly.
4. Remember her birthday, your anniversary, and any other important date in her life.
5. Give her gifts. Almost anything will do so long as it has beauty and sophistication.
6. Compliment her frequently. Help her learn to accept the praise and recognition she so often shuns.
7. Return her loyalty. Reassure her that you can and will provide for her as long as it makes her happy. Make her aware that she can change and you can learn to accept and love the evolved woman she can become.
8. Let her organize your life, but make it clear that you want the privilege of input.
9. Bite your tongue before you ever make a statement that will cause her jealousy to surface. Be considerate, and above all conscious, of her jealousy. You can help her overcome it by trying to understand it.
If you are the man she chooses for life, you can consider yourself lucky. The combination of Venus and earth can make her the most exciting sexual conquest you've ever experienced. Her need to nurture and care for those she loves will foster one of the deepest feelings of security you've ever had. Treat her as you would a delicate flower or a succulent mango; experience her depths, for she will certainly take you there. Her potential is great indeed, and you can share the joy of helping her evolve.
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