Monogamy and Nonmonogamy

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The Virgo Woman tends to stay faithfully married, though hers is a mutable sign, and she often marries more than once (serial monogamy). She is capable of being fulfilled by a monogamous lifestyle, but because the world is offering her more options, and because the times seem to require a growing awareness, she has begun to question her lifestyle more than ever before. And because she has a compulsively inquisitive nature, she is apt to investigate thoroughly.

Monogamy is a lifestyle of sexual exclusivity with one's mate; by the strict definition, it includes emotional exclusivity as well. The Virgo Woman is totally in favor of monogamy, both in principle and in practice. If she discontinues the practice, it is often against her better judgment and deeply conservative values. Nonmonogamy is apt to create tremendous emotional tensions that she must learn to master and resolve creatively.

The following represent typical situations which could influence the Virgo Woman to become non-monogamous:

1. Perfectionism. The Virgo Woman often marries the illusion of perfection in love and romance. If her husband turns out to have bad breath or small ambition, if he becomes too busy to generate the glamour or security she needs, she may get restless. She may pursue her illusion elsewhere, and with more experience and maturity, she may later setde back into reasonably contented domesticity, often with the original man.

2. Absolutism and judgmental attitudes. The Virgo Woman is exceedingly fond of absolutes and indeed may depend on them. To her, truth, beauty, love, and family life may have to fulfill a rigidly defined image and standard. This impulse toward absolutism is closely allied with her need for perfectionism but goes beyond it; it is more emotional and more directly tied to her value system. She may become nonmonogamous in reaction to the failure of any of the important absolutes in her life, and out of a growing, often petty spirit of revenge.

3. Fear of intimacy. The Virgo Woman may wish to guard her innermost self, particularly her fears. She may seek sexual partners who are less likely than her husband to penetrate deeply and truly get to know her.

4. Anger with her mate. The Virgo Woman often endures more pain than most, but she too has her limits. If her husband consistently hurts or disappoints her, she may seek solace elsewhere. Though she may be justified, she is still likely to feel guilty.

5. Pragmatism. If her husband leaves her high and dry in bed, or if he looks like a permanent loser, the Virgo Woman is capable of cutting her losses. She may look around very carefully, testing prospective suitors and mates for both plea sure and usefulness. She is apt to be a cool and rational decision maker, especially in important matters.

6. Modern Lady Chatterley syndrome. Many a shy Virgo maiden lives her life without earthquakelike orgasms or poetic ecstasies. When the opportunity repeatedly arises for her to experience these, she may profit. Sometimes she is swept away despite herself, though she may never see the lover again after one peak experience.

7. Sexual self-doubt. Nonexclusivity may be sought as a cure for this condition. The sexually insecure Virgo Woman may try shopping around, however briefly.

8. Search for new technical know-how, curiosity. Nobody can beat Virgo in the technical aspects of lovemaking. She has a knack for absorbing information about various sex positions, exercises, breathing techniques, and games. If her husband insists on sticking to a meat-and-potatoes sexual diet, she may find more sophisticated lovers who delight in uninhibited sexual play.

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