Libra Anger

Anger is a natural human emotion. We feel loving, greedy, lusty, jealous, sad, happy—and we feel angry.

The Libra Woman is a dove whose hawk side comes out unexpectedly under stress, usually in the form of pretended concern. She has an enormous problem with unacknowledged, repressed anger. She is first of all unlikely to recognize her anger. Second, she does not know how to express anger honestly and constructively. Lest she feel overwhelmed by the problem, she should rest assured that almost everyone in our culture shares it.

None of us are taught the ground rules for "integrity fighting." What we do know is "dominance fighting." The difference is that the first results in the removal of friction, while the latter increases it by leaving one party victorious, the other humiliated and hurt.

In our culture, we usually call anger by other names. We may say we are depressed, hostile, withdrawn, guilty, upset, worried, selfish . . . and we might feel any of those emotions. But just as often they cover anger. And by now it is common knowledge that depression is usually the result of anger turned inward, never expressed.

Anger, like sex, scares us. We think it is like the genie in the bottle, that once it is released our anger will never again be controllable. And in the Libra Woman, what particularly works against the expression of her anger is the belief (our culture supports her in this view) that she becomes a "bad" person when she is angry. She does not yet know that if we learn to accept anger as a natural human emotion, like love, we can deal with it and use it constructively.

The Libra Woman's pleasant face seldom registers anger. She might be at war with herself internally, but externally all is calm. Her primary mode of coping with anger is to express it in the guise of loving concern. She "knows" that her husband is worried, that her best friend is suffering from an unhappy affair, that her child has done something wrong. While she pats people on the back, she fails to rid herself of her anger. Instead she projects it onto others and distorts it into worry, fear, and guilt. Unfortunately, the Libra Woman is unaware of her manipulation. She thinks that above all she wants to avoid hurting her partner, but the outcome does more harm than good. Her manipulativeness and avoidance of her real feelings endanger her and her partnership.

As a cardinal sign, Libra wants control. She tries to achieve it by withholding her anger and practicing manipulation. She appears solicitous but in fact maybe ignoring the other person.

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