The Cancer Woman's insecurity is classic in that it probably started with self-rejection generated from babyhood impressions. However, the most compelling and universal reason for self-rejection is rejection by someone else. Deep down, Cancer may fear that self-knowledge and revelation would uncover not a narcissus but an ugly frog. She is self-protective all her life, partially because of this belief.
Cancer, I advise you to make an inventory of all your assets. Concentrate especially on those you have ignored or taken for granted. If you are insecure, unaware of your assets, you will be unable to make the best use of them or to develop them further.
Make a list of all the risks you've ever taken, from the tiniest to the biggest. Next to each, write the outcome. You will see that you've succeeded far more than you've failed. Keep the "Risk List" with you and refer to it when you feel anxious and unsure about your next decision. Another exercise is to imagine the worst thing that could happen as a result of a risk you have decided to take. You will see that this worst outcome is most often not as bad as something you've already experienced and overcome.
A frequent result of Cancer's insecurity is excessive caution. The Cancer Woman tends to be as super-cautious as a newlywed giving a large party for the first time. But though the nervousness of an inexperienced hostess is understandable, Cancer tends to retain a generalized wariness for decades.
There is a world of difference between voluntary logical caution and involuntary obsessive caution. A young colt who has just learned to walk is naturally nervous and watchful. His movements are measured, slightly off balance, but rapidly improving. He has controlled grace, harmony, self-protective insight. However, the obsessively cautious person lacks these qualities, instead adopting a stiff, slow, tense, clumsy body language. The Cancer Woman's incessant caution is ultimately self-defeating; it is not a realistic response to situations that are no longer characterized by newness, that no longer challenge her survival.
Another frequent manifestation of insecurity is secrecy and manipulativeness. If Lady Cancer does not wish to let on what she thinks and wants, she is likely to try to get results indirectly. She may try to subtly control others in such a way that she achieves her goal without overt communication (i.e., without taking risks).
The Cancer Woman is so rich in sensation and subjective intuition that she is quite vulnerable. A hint of displeasure, a word, a nuance, a silence, a gesture, or a sound can hurt her. If she does not protect herself, she suffers. If she protects herself, she may go too far and encase herself in impenetrable armor or turn to possessiveness and exploitation. She must learn to walk the fine line between just enough caution and too much self-protection.
Cancer, you must learn to eliminate needless caution and to refrain from secretive, self-protective, self-rejecting acts. Throwing caution to the wind at the right time is utterly exhilarating, and you may be forced to try it. You will have to cope with new patterns of relating, new adventures, new experiences, for life will inevitably bring them. Holding back as a result of insecurity is as fruitless as wanting guarantees where there are none.
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