In timates

Above all, Lady Libra has style. She may be anxious, insecure, or annoyed, but one thing with which she is plentifully equipped is class. In her relationships, she tends to play the roles of the following three characters:

1. Diplomat. The Libra is a mediator in family disputes. She is a master of survival tactics such as indirect suggestion, compliance, sublimation, anticipation, evasion, and subtlety. She stands her ground, neither winning nor losing, but sharing with both sides in equal balance.

Instead of participating directly, she becomes the negotiator and go-between. She soothes ruffled tempers and bandages egos. She understands and empathizes with the feelings and arguments of both sides. She perceives the Tightness and wrongness in each participant's attitude. Above all, she wants justice and peace to reign.

As an adult she is an accomplished diplomat and maneuvers through life using a skillful strategy. Her style is effective with her friends, who appreciate her charm and good humor and forgive her sudden aggressive displays. However, her manipulations with her love partner will eventually create blocks in communication. Many of the tactics she learned as a child serve her well. Others counteract the mutual honesty and give-and-take that are integral to achieving an intimate tie.

The Libran must be aware of her skills in diplomacy in order to use them constructively. She should not use manipulation to get others to act against their wishes, and she should increasingly try to be honest.

2. Aloof Lady. The Libra Woman is apt to choose the wrong man as a partner the first few times because she lacks the self-knowledge to make the right choices in love. She usually wants a man who can provide the maternal/pa-ternal nurturing she needs, yet she also wants him to place her on a pedestal. Caught in a conflict, she wants her man both to nurture her and to be detached from her. She wants him to be close, but only when she beckons.

Internally Lady Libra is a vulnerable little girl, externally the aloof lady in control. She appears cool, calm, and collected most of the time. Others may think she is remote, someone with "a chip on her shoulder." She is uncomfortable with Mediterranean displays of affection. She controls her personal space and spreads it all around her like a buffer. She restricts body contact.

Because she is prone to overintellectualizing, she often keeps people away from her. She is always thinking, trying to balance her scales. She gives the impression that she wants and needs a close relationship, but she wants it only on her own terms.

3. Tough/Fragile Woman. One has a hard time understanding just what Libra's terms are, because she shifts often. She greatly fears loneliness, jumps into one relationship after another, and has some simultaneously. She often mistakes friendship for romantic love.

It is as if her two sides were not quite connected. The one may ignore the other. The fragile part is dependent, eager to please and serve her partner. When this side dominates, she automatically subordinates herself. The other side, the tough part, resents this behavior. When it is in charge, she is manipulative, argumentative, and sometimes hostile. The hostility may be masked by cloyingly sweet behavior.

The Libra Woman seeks to be defined through others. She wonders, "Who am I?" and "Who are we?" She takes criticism badly, and declarations of love with skepticism. Offended, she retreats into her aloof lady or becomes submissive and fragile. On occasion, though, a tigress will come roaring out.

She is naturally possessive but does not like to be. She is simply addicted to being bonded. She does not feel whole without that special someone, but she thinks that jealousy is in bad taste and that showing jealousy is worse. On principle she believes in freedom and equal rights. She may feel hurt by their exercise, but she will act unconcerned.

Unlike the mobile Aries or the agile perambulator Gemini, she does not seek new people or excitement. She is able to magnetize, to draw people and opportunities towards her. She actively waits—another contradiction very typical of Libra.

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