How the Capricorn Woman Relates Lovers and Other Intimates

The Capricorn Woman's mode of relating is frequently colored by deep shyness and fear. A constant vigilance as to the motives of others, intermittent attempts at controlling the relationship—plus a deep capacity for love and devotion—normally characterize her relationships.

When she decides to love someone, she is bound to go all out. Neither lightning nor earthquake can shake her instinctive protection of her loved ones. It is essential to comprehend this about her: despite her efficiency and aplomb, what the Capricorn Woman usually seeks in an intimate relationship is to fuse with the other. She may want ¿«independence, but her ultimate desire is almost sure to be fused synergy, a harmonious and complete blend with her lover.

The Capricorn Woman often has trouble resolving her dependence/independence needs; this conflict manifests itself in her relationships in the guise of extreme devotion to her lover alternating with emotional withdrawal. She may have an exaggerated fear of dependence in any form and a high intolerance for parasites or weaklings, yet she may plunge into total commitment to the point of temporary obliteration of her needs.

She may often give to the wrong men, those who have nothing to give her in return. She may pick losers time and again, eventually learning her lessons thoroughly. She may also take from the wrong people—people who may love her very conditionally, keeping scores of hidden demands, or who may be incapable of loving as fully as she. Though it may not be hard to take advantage of her in her early years, it is usually impossible to make her forget she has been wronged.

A flurry of contradictions, she may find love and fault simultaneously. She may penny-pinch in love until she trusts enough to let herself go. If she is immature and unbalanced, she may economize on love at various turns and squander it at others.

She'll combine a sexy invitation ("Come up and see me sometime!") with a daring smile designed to taunt her seducer. Capricorn likes to dare would-be intimates to prove themselves, would-be lovers to warm her up and then equal her unleashed ardor. She is also, however, willing to pay the price for what she wants. She pays her dues, collecting punishment as well as rewards along the way.

The Capricorn Woman who depends on her husband for all her identity and status will almost surely encounter serious problems eventually. Living through another person is not her cup of tea. Sooner or later, as in the case of Ruth, she will usually find the need and the energy to take her own self and career seriously. There are Capricorn Women who are able to stay home contentedly and tend the hearth all their lives, but they are in a minority. Most need a larger scope for their inborn ambition, and most have a burning, long-lasting need to prove they can "make it."

The Capricorn Woman must recognize that this drive is part of her natural makeup, that she needs to make provision for it in her lifestyle. If she chooses to live through and for her husband or her children, she is giving power over her life and future to another person. There is a strong chance that she will resent this sooner or later. Many Capricorn Women end up as secret drinkers, taking their troubles out this way, perhaps unwilling to confide in someone.

As a friend, the Capricorn Woman hardly has a peer. She is attuned to people's needs, meets emergencies and manages problems with efficiency and wisdom born of experience. She has heart, and she is often more comfortable showing it in friendship than in romantic love. She is usually generous and chooses gifts with intuitive care. She is able to help an intimate fulfill dreams by providing an example, support, or practical, energetic prodding.

She usually has friends of both sexes, though she will probably be truly close to just a few. She tends to change friends periodically, as she changes. She is scarcely at a loss for contacts, and she knows just how to nurture them. She may prefer female friends who respect her need to succeed, though they themselves need not share it. In fact, Capricorn can also profit from domestically inclined women friends who from time to time provide an undisturbed port in the storm. She has no trouble making and keeping male friends, for she can think as a male. She will rarely make a man insecure by accusing him of opportunism, for she understands his need to be a recognized member of the species.

Capricorn, I advise you to avoid the pitfalls of choosing the wrong partner. How ever, if you do err, retain a sense of optimism and consider it a good lesson. Let go before too much time has elapsed.

I advise you also to avoid the trap of vicarious living. It is for good reason that your symbols are the unicorn and the mountain goat—you are a winner, born to the magic of success. You may share it, but you must not hand it over to someone less capable than you.

As you go through life, remember that it is a process. You are continually balancing. If it seems like a trapeze act at times, it is that for all of us. Keep up your confidence, and don't give in to self-blame or depression.

Your great need for accomplishment and recognition is a wonder to behold. Though it runs counter to our traditional feminine upbringing, don't deviate from this path. Instead, enrich it continually. And balance work with fun, public success with private joy.

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