The Leo Woman has a bent toward egocentric rulership. Endowed with good looks and desiring attention, she often dominates her man. She must learn to keep a tight rein on her ruling instinct and channel it into safe and constructive areas.
She may be a femme fatale, a glamorous queen who turns every man's head. She may have an irreducible, charismatic quality that reflects her intuition of her own great potential. She may project a sexiness that most men find alluring and irresistible, and that a few find quite frightening.
The Leo Woman has a nearly inexhaustible craving and ability to play the lead role. Until she overcomes her unconscious tendency to use men and relationships to feed her ego, she may be harsh and even militaristic. In the early years, she is seldom aware of this as a problem. She may not be soft, pliable, and yielding because she has not yet learned to trust and enjoy her femaleness.
She is, nevertheless, bound to be a good friend, a giver; she seldom minds sharing the good life. She is unlikely to be petty or possessive of her goods, and if she harbors fears, they don't usually faze her much. She tends to have many friends of both sexes, many of them superficial. She is generous but keeps the best of her winning strategies to herself.
She is socially at ease and usually a free spender, this quality tending to endear her to some who might otherwise ignore her. She may have hangers-on and must make sure she sorts the wheat from the chaff. She may have many mousy friends, some of whom envy her. Others, the true ones, do not resent her need to be in the limelight and appreciate her full capacity for affection and fun.
Her romantic adventures take her through the gentle land of smiles, dotted with long shadows. She is apt to meander from arm to arm, from plush setting to plusher. She can graduate from shack to castle or survive in modest surroundings if she must. She takes most things in stride, but she tends to nag or whine a great deal if she feels discontented. She usually dislikes reforming her man, expecting him to be ready-made and ready to act.
She is a perennial optimist, and this is one of her charms. She may, for example, be stuck in a bad marriage. She copes with it somehow, finding a way to create sunshine and give herself an out—having a baby, taking a trip, or opening a new business. This is healthy, but it can also result in problems later. When a fixed sign, such as Leo, gets stuck in a relationship that does not meet her needs, she can usually build a good escape route and use it successfully. Often, however, she is reluctant to confront underlying problems, and she can find herself, years later, faced with the same problems that drove her to escape in the first place.
Barbara is a twenty-nine-year-old Leo. She has the charm and outward assurance of the Leo cat, and also her natural humor, warmth, and egocentricity. She came to see me after several of her romances broke up in a two-year period. Feeling blue, she was wondering why the pattern was self-repeating. It came out in the course of therapy that she had tried to use men to fulfill her own needs, with little regard for theirs. She appeared to have a poor understanding of men, seeing them strictly from the vantage point of her own elevated hilltop.
Barbara had been unable to believe a man could love her as a whole person. She saw herself as a sex symbol, and she had succeeded in attracting an impressive number of men. She could also hold them, but she somehow felt empty and restless. Though she seemed self-confident, she did not like herself enough. Knowing little about her deeper self, she was caught in her own projections and tended to blame the men.
As a Leo-type woman, Barbara was gifted but needed to be constantly indulged and shown she was well loved. She had an unrealistic view of relationships and expected that each new man would fill all her needs without being asked, without explanation. She expected total romance and minimum maintenance. Her wishful views and her self-image did nothing to create a sense of fulfillment.
The Leo Woman's need for independence is not so great that she does not also enjoy depending on her man—if he does not neglect her pride, vanity, and affection. She is often remarkably well balanced. She will go wrong only if she puts all her eggs in one basket, with the culturally approved label "His."
The Leo Woman must have varied ways of confirming herself, preferably directly. Running the home may do it, but unless her home is an impressive one and a challenge, it probably will lose its allure after a brief interlude. If she could afford it, buying her own baseball team would be more like it. I know a Leo who is running a sex therapy clinic, another who owns a gallery, one who runs her own needlepoint business, and three who conduct a catering and party service from their homes. All are happily paired.
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