Scorpio, the following is a basic guide to help you deal with anger:
1. Learn to identify your anger. Use the following as your best clues:
a. Your body language. If you are leaning forward, flashing your eyes, pointing your fingers, and jabbing the air, you are probably angry.
b. Your verbal expressions. Learn to identify the expressions you commonly use to disguise or communicate anger.
c. Your feelings of stress. What part of your body does it hit? Are you sick right now? When did it start? See if you can figure out a pattern for times you feel ill or angry.
d. Whatever is going on in your life right now. Is there anything you would think might be making you angry?
e. Other people's reactions. These provide a mirror for you. Are people treating you patiently and lovingly, or are you inundated with hostile vibes from others? If it's the latter, take a look at some of your own.
2. Identify what kind of anger you feel. Anger can be:
a. Situational (impersonal, professional situations).
b. Family (interpersonal).
c. The wall (free floating; does not seem to be situational or family-related).
3. Determine what can help you cope with anger on the job:
a. Establish your goals, both short- and long-term.
b. Define your resources (or power leverage):
i) Credentials ii) Past contributions iii) Personal power iv) People you work with v) Connections in your field vi) Savings that make you feel able to take a risk and leave the job
4. Determine what can help you cope with anger in personal situations: a. Have a sense of humor.
b. Maintain a positive attitude.
c. Develop detachment.
d. Stick to specifics when discussion begins.
e. Speak up; do not remain silent.
h. Do not become threatened or take the other's reaction too personally.
i. If you must throw a tantrum, try to do it alone. If you must scream and your partner is there, preface it by saying, "I am going to let steam out because if I don't, I'll burst. Please leave the room if it bothers you. We'll carry on after I'm finished."
The most important thing to remember when you are trying to cope with your anger is this: Anger is a reaction. When you feel angry, it is because something in your personality or belief system tells you that you ought to react by being angry. Anger, like love, is a choice you make based on subconscious needs and values. In other words, the most effective intervention spot is right in your own belief system.
If a construction worker whistles at you, you can get angry, or you can smile. If your mother tells you you don't raise your kids right, you can get angry, you can try to meet her for lunch and explain your point of view, or you can detach yourself from her perspective. Any time you can control your reaction, you are in charge.
Whenever anger affects her sex life, the Scorpio Woman must first recognize what is happening and then take action. The most effective action is to prepare to discuss what is happening with her mate. If Scorpio cannot control her anger within any rational guidelines, she might consider a therapy that will allow her to express it physically. Primal scream and bioenergetics are two therapy approaches that encourage unloading anger directly and powerfully.
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