Cancer Lifestyles

Monogamy and Nonmonogamy

The Cancer Woman is apt to be highly family-oriented, to want and need family love in her life. At the same time, she is able to use sex simply as a source of pleasure, and she leads an alternative or secret life more often than appearances might suggest. She has some hedonistic tendencies, and they conflict with, but are not always checked by, her self-image as a good mother and wife. Still, the Cancer Woman is apt to be inherently loyal above all to her brood. She may not be sexually faithful to her husband, but if there is such a thing as monogamy with a family (nothing is more important to her), then we can say she is almost always monogamous.

She is apt to wish to remain monogamous all her life, for monogamy appeals to her value system. She was probably raised traditionally and has come to regard monogamous marriage as the way of life. But the maturing Cancer Woman often discovers sexual urges she never dreamed of, a lush sensuality and a need for excitement. As life goes on, she may continue to want stability, but she may also want excitement. She may feel guilty about extramarital sexual fantasies, but she frequendy fashions a secret life for herself—in her head or in reality.

The following represent typical situations which could influence the Cancer Woman to become nonmonogamous:

1. Sensual, sexual, or emotional desiccation. She needs her waters of sensitivity, caring, and sexuality refreshed regularly.

2. Thirst for excitement and variety, either due to lack of experience and an early marriage or to the nonspecific feeling of being left out of the mainstream.

3. Moodiness or capriciousness.

4. Revenge (the "I'll get back at Harry" game).

5. Disappointment in her mate, either as a lover or as a father/provider. She may seek a new father for her children by this route.

6. Falling in love with a different man.

7. Falling under the spell of a fantasy or of a group that holds extramarital sex as the norm. She is impressionable.

8. Separation or pre-divorce blues.

SINGLE WOMAN/INTIMATE NETWORKS: The Cancer Woman very rarely adopts this as a permanent lifestyle. She likes to be surrounded by her loved ones and wants total commitment.

OPEN MARRIAGE: The Cancer Woman finds this nothing short of ridiculous. She probably won't judge those who like it, but she wouldn't want to try it for herself.

MÉNAGE À TROIS: For Cancer this is a possibly fascinating experiment that can provide her with sexual stimulation and sensual enrichment; it can also be a vehicle for trying bisexuality or acting out a favorite fantasy—that of being with two men.

COMMUNAL LIVING: She may enjoy communal living very much. I've met many who have. The Cancer Woman is apt to do a great deal of work in the communal kitchen, to mother the members, and to be the fourth leg of the table in almost any communal endeavor. She is practical and wise, and if she feels appreciated, she may stick with this lifestyle, which is for the most part a sixties phenomenon. Communes can still be found in certain coastal communities and in a few scattered spots in the rest of the nation; a Cancer Woman frequently lives at the heart of the healthiest.

GAY/BISEXUAL LIFESTYLE: The Cancer Woman is not irrevocably heterosexual. I have met many gay Cancers, and even more who claim to be bisexual. Of course, the majority are strictly heterosexual but are at least conceptually tolerant of this lifestyle. Cancer's gay tendency may be partly an extension of her intimate familiarity with feminine matters, her attraction to females, and her finely developed sensitivity.

The Cancer Woman seeks the good life in all ways. She has a special gift for finding the best-quality basics that make the good life possible. Her interest in the material

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