The Aries Woman approaches sex as she does everything else in life: zestfully, impulsively, and with total commitment. She gives all she has and takes all she can get in return. She is open to anything—but don't ask about tomorrow—sexual exclusivity is not her bag. The challenge of the hunt excites her.
Aries is an exceptionally passionate, sensual, and sexual woman. Romantic, erode, and vain, she needs monumental reassurance from a sexual partner. When she feels insecure, she is jealous and possessive. When she feels secure, she is as loyal as any fixed sign (Taurus, Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius) though still wildly unpredictable.
Aries' sex secret is that while she enjoys being and frequendy is sexually dominant, she is secretly hoping for a partner who appreciates and flows with sexuality highlighted by extreme swings from dominance to passivity, an exceptionally live eroticism, and an equally strong need for mental stimulation to spark and parallel the physical turn-on.
Sexual energy can be positive or negative. The Aries Woman flows with dynamism, vibrancy, and power, but when blocked, she is horny, bitchy, impatient, angry, and finally ill. Repressed anger, fear, and guilt anesthetize the female capacity for pleasure.
Aries has an enormous appetite for pleasure. She will try anything once and appreciates a man who is openminded. She prefers varied sexual techniques, feathers and fur, velvet and candlelight, fantasy and music, vibrators and leather. Public sex is a secret fantasy, waiting to be fulfilled. The man who can help turn her fantasies into realities commands her affection and loyalty. She looks for a man she can trust enough to exchange fantasies with, and sometimes sexual roles.
The Aries Woman needs a partner who is highly sensitive and can bring out in her a receptivity and flow that are not much in evidence during the daily display of fireworks. She wants to be made love to slowly. She prefers partners who do riot rush her to a speedy commitment or to the quick completion of intercourse. Lady Aries chases rainbows and makes the world revolve all day, so bed is often the only place where she can relax and go slowly.
Aries seeks total pleasure, and it is a testimony to her drive that her path is littered with the bodies of those who didn't fit the bill. Secret and adventurous places, exotic haunts, and dangerous territory all lure the Aries Woman. What she finds, she wants; what she wants, she wants to rule.
Like the Scorpio Woman, to whom sex means pure power, the experienced Aries Woman choreographs and executes the sex act for a definite purpose. With an eye to the door should the experience be dull or the man weak, she initiates sex and directs it in order to test the male. Will he match her in humor, in willingness to experiment, in ability to change roles? Can he take over? Can he also lie back and take a passive role?
However, Aries experiences plenty of internal conflict. On the one hand, she wants total pleasure and suspects that it ultimately comes through committed emotional bonding. On the other, she likes to keep her sexual options open. Mental curiosity, love of discovery, and the desire to test old rules and behavior in new territory never die. The problem of how to have her cake and eat it keeps the Aries Woman occupied.
Our culture teaches women especially to find love, sex, and commitment all in the same relationship. The Aries Woman tends to split love and sex. She may have many sexual relationships over the decades, but she will have had few deep emotional bonds. It is easier by far for her to engage herself sexually and intellectually than to involve her heart. For some time, she finds it easier to conquer and leave than to stay and explore mutual vulnerabilities. Though capable of loving deeply, she resists her own need to do so. The more the Aries Woman feels emotionally attracted to a man, the more cautiously she pursues the relationship.
In bed we are all vulnerable. We have to anticipate "letting it all hang out" sooner or later if we have a good partner. The Aries Woman picks partners slowly and carefully; she knows that from the start a sexual relationship can present more challenge than she bargained for. She may have many partners, but she will have only one true lover at a time.
She dislikes routines in anything, including sex. She tunes out and turns off if a partner is applying preconceived, automatic, self-conscious stimulation techniques. Other women may find this a turnoff too, but the Aries Woman is quicker to speak up and leave. Describing her connubial lovemaking, one Aries (who stayed with the relationship) said, "I lay there undergoing my husband's ministrations as he meandered through his ritual that carried him to orgasm. ... All the while, I was mentally ticking off what page of our well-thumbed marriage manual he was struggling with. I knew that when he got to page 16, he was nearing climax." This lady solved her problem by having other, much more imaginative and longer-lasting lovers.
There are two clear-cut possibilities for the Aries Woman to gain sexual freedom. One is in an anonymous situation, such as a sex party or a one-night stand. The second is when she is truly joined in loving union. Only these extremes really excite her. In the former, she has no investments, and her challenge is to give a great performance. In the latter, she is challenged to express herself totally and join her deepest self to another while maintaining a separate identity.
When Aries really lets go, she turns into a tigress. She doesn't allow fear or guilt to interfere with sexual exchange and gratification. She screams, thrashes, sobs, scratches, and finally exhausts herself in ecstasy. Sex becomes the ultimate trip, a cosmic experience.
To fully participate in lovemaking, one must utilize all the senses. The Aries Woman is comfortable with vocalizing during lovemaking. She seems to know that sounds enrich communication and conduct sexual pleasure through the whole body. She must make a conscious effort, however, to completely use her sense of touch. Though touch is a key to sensual pleasure for Aries, it isn't too well developed. She is too rushed to touch and feel textures around her. She needs to slow down, to caress the bright flowers she already appreciates visually, to rub velvet across her cheek or brush her partner's hair with her palm. She needs to remember to close her eyes and feel the cool texture of satin sheets, the fuzzy nubbiness of wool rugs, the wispy delicacy of lace.
Though the Aries Woman has to work to use her own sense of touch, she loves to be touched. She likes tender, light stroking and a feathery touch to help her relax and begin lovemaking. Once she gets turned on, she prefers harder stimulation. Many an Aries has told me she becomes frustrated if her partner continues to caress a breast softly when she would rather have it kneaded. Here, honest communication is the only answer.
The sexual cycles of the Aries Woman seem to be related to the fact that hers is the earliest sign of the Zodiac. She is most arousable and receptive in the early hours of the morning. We know from recent research that male sexual hormones reach a peak at that time. For Aries, it is the most natural time to couple.
The Aries Woman, like all women, likes a man who knows himself and accepts his sexuality. But she seems to prefer a man who finishes the sex act with hard thrusting. She also prefers a man who allows her freedom of movement while guiding her to receive the full impact of his penetration and his rhythm.
The Aries Woman likes aggressive fantasies that involve exhibitionism and power. She often visualizes herself wearing a black garter belt, stockings, and boots, carrying a whip, and acting out a scenario of sexual domination in front of a frenzied audience. Another favorite fantasy involves initiations. She loves to initiate women as well as men into sex and to imagine being introduced to a new sexual trip. Group sex and homosexual encounters are frequent fantasy themes.
Women who are relaxed about their own sexuality can please themselves with masturbation. Since the Aries Woman feels comfortable with her own body, she enjoys masturbation. She also likes to try new sex toys. Dildos, feathers, artificial penises, massagers, benwa balls, leather and bondage outfits—all are potential sexual accessories for Aries.
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